The Masks We Wear
After awhile, it becomes second nature. Someone says, "So, how are you doing?" And we look them right in the eye and say, "I'm okay. I'm fine."
And like they said in the movie, "The Italian Job," we all know what fine means. It stands for:
Frustrated
Insecure
Neurotic
Emotional
That's how we really feel.
So we say we're doing well, but it's a lie. They believe us because they want to; it's easier than having to deal with our pain all the time.
After a couple of years, no one really wants to hear that we're lonely, hurting and scared. This change in our life doesn't just hurt; sometimes, it's excruciating. So, we put our masks on again and say "we're fine."
If we're fortunate, our days are filled with work, and that's good. But we work like fiends during the day, in the hope that we'll be exhausted enough to sleep at night. The images drift in and out--unwanted and painful.
Time doesn't really heal; there's a gaping wound over our hearts, and everybody thinks they have the Band-Aid that will work.
We think constantly of our lost loves, wondering how our lives would be now if we hadn't lost our lifelines.
Of course, that does no good. Instead, we should learn to live again and make them proud of us. But we must begin to live for ourselves.
What do we do about the masks? Personally, I'm not sure. And I'm not sure if time will eventually help form a scab over the wound. Better stock up on Band-Aids, just in case.
So, how are you doing? And don't say you're fine!
And like they said in the movie, "The Italian Job," we all know what fine means. It stands for:
Frustrated
Insecure
Neurotic
Emotional
That's how we really feel.
So we say we're doing well, but it's a lie. They believe us because they want to; it's easier than having to deal with our pain all the time.
After a couple of years, no one really wants to hear that we're lonely, hurting and scared. This change in our life doesn't just hurt; sometimes, it's excruciating. So, we put our masks on again and say "we're fine."
If we're fortunate, our days are filled with work, and that's good. But we work like fiends during the day, in the hope that we'll be exhausted enough to sleep at night. The images drift in and out--unwanted and painful.
Time doesn't really heal; there's a gaping wound over our hearts, and everybody thinks they have the Band-Aid that will work.
We think constantly of our lost loves, wondering how our lives would be now if we hadn't lost our lifelines.
Of course, that does no good. Instead, we should learn to live again and make them proud of us. But we must begin to live for ourselves.
What do we do about the masks? Personally, I'm not sure. And I'm not sure if time will eventually help form a scab over the wound. Better stock up on Band-Aids, just in case.
So, how are you doing? And don't say you're fine!
posted by AlannaK @ 8:49 AM
1 Comments:
At 8:37 AM,
AlannaK said…
My daughter is getting married later this year and she's not going to have her daddy to give her away. That upsets her a lot. Her brother has agreed to step in, but it's not the same. Plus, she's the last child left at home. My husband and I had plans for when both kids were out living their own lives. Now he's gone and I'm doing all of it on my own. That wasn't part of the plan. It sounds like you've got a handle on things though, and you're a strong person. Things will be hard, but you'll make it. Thanks for posting. Come back and talk anytime.
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