Widowhood Is Not Funny

Monday, March 22, 2010

Life Is Not Perfect

Don't we all dream of a perfect world, where everything always goes right? In a perfect world, we would still have our husbands, as well as the dreams and goals we developed together as a couple.

But the world and our lives are not perfect. Life is messy and unpredictable, far from perfect. We have no choice, we simply have to learn to deal with the messiness and unpredictability.

The one choice we do have is how we'll deal with Life. We can rail at our imperfect world, moaning and groaning at the unfairness of it all or--we can go with the flow, as they say, finding our place, and even peace, in this imperfect world and yes, we do have a place in it.

The Japanese have a philosophy called "Wabi Sabi," in which they learn to appreciate and indeed, celebrate the imperfection of the world around us; they find the beauty instead.

The Amish believe that, while we should strive to improve ourselves and our lives, we should not aim for perfection. They believe that only God is perfect and man can never be.

Striving for perfection is hard on our minds and our bodies; it's very stressful. It's so much easier and healthier to learn to appreciate the imperfections, even celebrate and find the beauty in them.

As widows, we have enough stress in our lives, without adding trying to achieve perfection to the already long list of stress builders. So take a deep breath and start looking at the world differently. Go ahead and find those imperfections, but instead of letting it upset you, learn to find the beauty there.

Learning to find the beauty in imperfections requires a paradigm shift in our thinking. As humans, we tend to find and complain of the imperfections. It takes some practice to learn to find the beauty where once we found only flaws.

The poem by Leonard Cohen says it best.

Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.


Post a Comment

<< Home