What's Your Status?
One of the most confusing aspects of widowhood is the question of your marital status. The longer you were married, the harder it is to take in. You still feel married, but you're so obviously alone.
When my husband Mel passed away, our oldest grandson Zachary was not quite three years old, yet he was the one who began asking the hard questions.
One day while I was babysitting, he saw me twisting my wedding ring round my finger and asked, "Mama Faye, are you still married?" Stunned by the question and from one so young, it took me a moment to compose myself enough to answer him. Nevertheless, my answer had to be, "Yes, yes I am!"
In my heart, I still feel married. The very idea of being single is distasteful and may continue to be for some time I'm afraid. I'd worn that wedding ring for thirty-five happily married years. Though it's been three years since I lost my darling Mel, I still wear my ring. Maybe one day I'll put it away.
But I won't hold my breath.
When my husband Mel passed away, our oldest grandson Zachary was not quite three years old, yet he was the one who began asking the hard questions.
One day while I was babysitting, he saw me twisting my wedding ring round my finger and asked, "Mama Faye, are you still married?" Stunned by the question and from one so young, it took me a moment to compose myself enough to answer him. Nevertheless, my answer had to be, "Yes, yes I am!"
In my heart, I still feel married. The very idea of being single is distasteful and may continue to be for some time I'm afraid. I'd worn that wedding ring for thirty-five happily married years. Though it's been three years since I lost my darling Mel, I still wear my ring. Maybe one day I'll put it away.
But I won't hold my breath.
posted by AlannaK @ 7:46 AM
1 Comments:
At 7:03 AM,
Nita said…
you were married one year longer than I was and you share my feelings. I say I'm a wife with a husband. That's what I feel like, and I hate that other word (widow). We never wore wedding rings, but I wear my mother's ring on my ring finger. I remember telling my daughter I was glad it wasn't a wedding band, because while it means as much to me,others won't ever start commenting on it and asking if I ever plan to remove it. Glad I found your blog.
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