Widowhood Is Not Funny

Friday, March 13, 2009

Fifth Anniversary

I have to tell you I really dreaded this past anniversary of the death of my husband. I told myself it should get easier with each year, but for some reason, I was more emotional and teary just before the date rolled around. I went through the same emotional turmoil on our last wedding anniversary. We would have been married for 40 years last September.

February 23, 2004 was the longest, worst day of my entire life. It was a Monday that seemed to go on and on. I was at the hospital for hours, then on to the funeral home, making decisions when I was barely functioning. Thank heavens for my support team (my daughter, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, and niece)! This year, February 23rd was also a Monday and brought images to mind that I could well do without.

So how to handle this day each year? The emotions are there and will be for some time, though as the years go by, I've noticed the pain is less sharp and a bit easier to bear. I've discovered that if I go back over all I've accomplished, learned and experienced in the years since I lost my husband, the good things far outweigh the distress, pain and fear I've been through. Yes, it's hard, the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my whole life and I'll never be okay with losing my life partner. But moving on is so important to my future and well-being and I know my husband would be proud of me.

And what have I done in five years? I've enhanced some existing skills and added many, many new ones, started a copywriting business, built a portfolio, written a book, (which I hope to see published in the near future), seen my daughter married and two more grandchildren arrive, and made many new friends. Viewed in that light, my life is definitely looking up, even if I am alone now. I've learned to appreciate the single state and my own worth. There is life after Widowhood!

Please post and let me know your success stories. Let me know how you're doing and what you're doing to move forward in your new life.