Widowhood Is Not Funny

Thursday, March 03, 2011

Why Am I So Angry?

Feeling anger at this time is very confusing. After all, you loved your husband with all your heart, but every day you cry and demand to know why he left you all alone. I was angry that my husband didn’t take better care of himself. Didn’t he know I couldn’t handle things alone? What, in our history together would lead him to believe that I could live without him?
Being angry at your husband also makes you feel guilty, after all it wasn’t his fault that he died and left you all alone. I feel certain that it wasn’t my husband’s plan, it just happened. So why was I so angry?
Believe it or not, anger is a part of the grieving process. It doesn’t mean you loved your husband any less or that you won’t continue to love him the rest of your life. But it’s perfectly normal to be angry that you’re alone when you don’t want to be. Part of the anger you’re feeling is tied to your fear of being without him. After a time, you will be able to forgive your loved one for leaving you and your anger will fade. When you begin to feel more capable of handling what life throws at you, you’ll find the anger disappearing. Eventually, we all come round to acceptance.
In the meantime, just know that it’s part of the five stages of grief, it’s normal, so don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s all part of this journey. Pat yourself on the back for making it this far and know that everything that happens to you in life makes you the strong, capable woman you are becoming. Your husband would be proud of that woman.

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