Widowhood Is Not Funny

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I'll Be Happy When...

We all do it, we put off being happy, thinking that certain criteria must be in place to allow that happiness. I’ll be happy when I have the right job. I’ll be happy when I’m not alone anymore. I’ll be happy when I get the dream house I’ve always wanted. Why can’t we just be happy right now, right here wherever we are? Why must we postpone our happiness?

Are we afraid to allow ourselves to be happy for fear it might disappear? Do we feel we don’t deserve happiness? Some folks don’t know how to be happy or feel it must be a big reason to be happy, not recognizing that one can be happy for small reasons too. How about being happy that you have a roof over your head, even if it isn’t your dream home? How about being happy that you have food on your table, even if it’s not gourmet meals? How about being happy that you have transportation, even if it’s not a Lexus?

As a widow, you might think you have absolutely no reason to be happy, after all, you’re alone, without your husband, how can you ever be happy again? I’m here to tell you that you can be happy, it is possible and you deserve to be happy again. Your husband would want you to be happy again.

How do you do that? Start by being kind to yourself; tell yourself it is okay to be happy, to start enjoying life again. Your husband died, you didn’t, which means you still have things to do, things to accomplish, someone to help, etc. Put aside your sadness and find a new purpose in life, your raison d’ȇtre, your reason for existence. It may not be clear right away exactly what that reason is, but allow yourself to explore the possibilities and find yours. It’s been said that to feel better about yourself, you should help someone else. You could teach others what you know or mentor a young person. It might be a new career that helps you find your purpose in life. When in doubt, follow your passions.

Most importantly, know that being happy is okay, in fact it’s necessary to every human being, so don’t postpone your happiness. Be happy now, don’t wait!

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