I"m Thankful for the Tears

If there’s one thing I know about, it’s tears. A widow has an intimate knowledge of tears; we’ve wept copious amounts of tears. We cry a lot in the beginning, so much it’s a wonder we’re not in a constant state of dehydration.

We cry at the drop of a hat, in fact, anything can set us off and have us weeping. A song we enjoyed with our husbands, the scent of his cologne, a piece of jewelry he wore that we kept. It doesn’t take much and we’re off and running again. A love story can have us in a complete meltdown in seconds.

Years later, I still cry sometimes, but what I’ve learned is the therapeutic effect of those tears. They help the spirit to heal. When the pain grows too great, tears help reduce the tension and lessen that pain.

But, I am thankful for the tears, because it means I’ve lived and loved and yes, unfortunately, I’ve lost people dear to me, especially my husband. I thought we’d have longer with each other. Still, I’m grateful for the time we had and I wouldn’t change that. We were happy together and that’s more than some people have.

Be thankful for your tears and smile at your memories. Don’t cry because he’s gone, smile because he was in your life even for just awhile.

Dry your eyes and grab a copy of my book, Widowhood Is Not Funny, available online everywhere, as an e-book.

And as always, I'm here, I'm listening & I'd love to hear from you!

Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot?

Well, we're coming up on the New Year-2010. February 23rd will be six years since I lost Mel. Six years since my life turned upside-down. Like everyone else, I started this journey in absolute terror and uncertainty. I was terrified of being alone, living alone and uncertain I even knew how. I wanted to just hide forever, hide from the world, hide from my loss and from the growing terror that I couldn't do this alone. That was the cry from my mind and heart for a very long time-"Lord, I can't do this !"

Then came the realization, of course, that I had no other choice. This was part of life, like it or not. I couldn't hide forever, no one can and I'd have to get out and face life sooner or later. I chose sooner. And you know what? It was the right choice for me. I got out there and made a new life for myself. I made new friends, lots of new friends, some local and some online. They've been supportive and encouraging and I know I wouldn't have done half as well without them; they've made life fun again.

And I've started a new career. I'd been writing for years just for fun, now I do it for a living and I'm having a blast. Hopefully, my book will be published and on the bookshelves soon and life will be even more fun.

In a few months comes the biggest test of all for me. My daughter was living at home when Mel died and has stayed with me these past tough years without him. But she'll be joining her husband soon. He's in the army, stationed in Afghanistan and when he returns, they'll be moving on to his next posting (in the states, thank goodness). At that point, I'll truly be on my own.

But I know I'll be all right and I intend to embrace this new life, because I must and because I know Mel would want me to. It's another choice to make and I choose joy!

What will you choose for the New Year?